


Dazzle Me

by dimmadoomed



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fake AH Crew, Female Jack, Multi, Possible Slow burn, Ryan and gavin are both dumb, Ryan doesn't wear his mask in the house, he's pretty trusting with his identity in this, inspired by a song, or when meeting the crew, please tell me if its bad, this is my first fic guys, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8260616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimmadoomed/pseuds/dimmadoomed
Summary: Dazzle me, dazzle me, dazzle me with goldYou’ll never be what you wanna be with all that money, that moneyDazzle me, dazzle me, throw away your goldYou’ll never be what you wanna be with all that money, that money, that money





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> okay guys. bear with me please. i have never written anything before. ever. so please tell me if its bad. and this is inspired by a song, so if you guys like it, i might write more fics inspired by the rest of the album. it may or may not be sad.. we'll see where it goes.

Ryan Haywood joined the Fake AH Crew just three days ago. And holy fuck did he kind of regret it.

The first day wasn’t so bad, confusing mostly. He arrived at the penthouse expecting to meet at least the main crew, but he was instead greeted with Geoff, who he had previously met, a tall woman with short red hair and awful clothes, and a man with reddish, curly hair and a leather jacket currently shouting at what looked to be a shitty flash game.

“Ryan!” Geoff shouted as he jumped up from his seat, almost spilling his whiskey in the process.

“Geoff!” Ryan yelled back, only slightly confused.

“Is this the “notorious Vagabond” you said would be joining us?”, the woman asked looking at Geoff.

"He is indeed. Jack, Ryan, Ryan, Jack. And this ball of rage is Michael. We do have other members as you know, but the Support Team has their own base of operations, you’ll meet them tomorrow, and Gavin is with Jeremy doing some recon. They’ll be back in two days. In the meantime, you can take your stuff to your room.”, he said, pointing down a hallway to the right of the door.

“Room?”, Ryan said, confusion growing.

"He didn’t tell you.”, Jack stated, glaring openly at Geoff, “Why don’t you ever tell them?”

“FUCK! Alright, fuck this game.”, Michael said, looking up from his laptop, “When does he tell anyone anything, Jack?” He said, turning to Ryan, “The main crew lives here. Go get whatever you need from your place and I can help you unpack later.”

Ryan looked wide-eyed as he just nodded and walked out the door.

 

Ryan’s second day went a bit worse. He woke up around 5am, never one for sleeping in, no matter how tired he was.

He got dressed and walked into the kitchen, not expecting any of the three to be awake. And he was right, no one he knew was awake.

But there was a tall, skinny guy going through the cabinets. Weird.

Ryan, being a wanted criminal, always carried a gun. "Hands up, and maybe I won’t shoot you. Maybe.”

Cabinet guy spun around, pulling a gun of his own and pointing it at Ryan. “Who the hell are you?” Cabinet guy asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Yeah well –"

“What the fuck is happening out here? Ryan, don’t point guns at the Support Team, we need them.” Michael said tiredly.

“Support Team?” Ryan questioned at the same time cabinet guy said, “Ryan?”

Michael just looked at them both for a minute before he said, “Fucking hell. I knew we should’ve had you meet everyone at once. Ryan this is Trevor, he's kinda like an assassin, Trevor this is Ryan or the "Vagabond", our new hire.”

”Dammit, Geoff.”, Ryan muttered.

"Yeah, I know Ryan. You’ll meet the rest of them around lunch. Now if you fucks could keep it down, I’m going back to bed.” Michael said, walking back to his room.

 

At about noon, Geoff said they were gonna have lunch with the Support Team. Mostly so Ryan could meet them, and to prevent any more situations like the one in the kitchen, but they also had some planning to do.

Ryan walked into the dining room to find Geoff, Jack, Michael, Trevor, and four others.

"Hey," Ryan said, making most of them jump.

"Ryan, glad you're here, I'd like to introduce you to the Support Team." Jack said, pointing to a very beautiful blond girl sitting very close to Michael, "This is Lindsay Jones, Michael's wife. But more importantly, she runs almost everything around here, despite what Geoff says."

"I resent that!" Geoff yelled with almost no emotion.

"Sure you do," Jack said, turning to a guy that looked like he never showered, "This is Matt Bragg, he's our hacker. Then we have Caleb Denecour, medical. Kdin Jenzen, communications. And you already met Treyco this morning. So, let's get to it!"

 

"Okay, so that's the plan!" Geoff said, standing from his chair. 

They had spent the last few hours eating and planning for their next heist, without Gavin and Jeremy, which Ryan thought was weird, but hey, whatever works.

They were going to rob a jewelry store in about a week and a half, so they had time to prepare and brief the other two when they got back tomorrow night.

Ryan understood his role in the heist well enough, he was going to be going into the shop with Michael and Gavin to steal the jewels. Simple. He hoped anyway.

 

On Ryan's third day, nothing was happening until the members he hadn't met returned, so he was sent out to take care of some guy named Rob for Geoff.

He wasn't supposed to kill the guy, just scare him. Apparently, he was trying to charge way too much for weapons and Ryan was told to get very "Vagabond".

So he took his time putting on his face paint, making very precise red and black lines. He grabbed his mask and leather jacket before heading out to his motorcycle and setting out to the target's house.

Ryan walked up to the guy's front door, put on his mask and knocked.

The door opened and Ryan just walked passed him and inside to the living room.

"What the fuck?", Rob said, following Ryan.

"I think you know my employer, Rob. Does 'Ramsey' ring a bell?" Ryan said through his mask.

"Ramsey has the fucking Vagabond now? What happened to his Golden Boy coming to shake me down?" Rob asked, looking more scared every second.

"His methods were obviously not effective for very long. So I was sent to... Remedy the situation." He said, pulling out a knife.

"Okay! Okay, okay, I get it. How's half price? Does that work for Ramsey?" Rob stuttered, backing into the wall.

"You know, I think that works, but... why don't we make it stick," Ryan suggested, dragging the knife across Rob's face, almost pressing hard enough to draw blood.

"It'll stick! I promise it'll stick, man!" Rob cried, wincing from the pain.

"It better, or I'll be back." Ryan scolded, stabbing the knife into the wall by Rob's head and walking out.

 

When Ryan returns to the penthouse, he grabs a Diet Coke from the fridge and sits in the living room to tell Geoff how the job went.

"He's selling for half price," Ryan said, opening his drink.

"How the hell did you manage that?" Geoff asked, turning towards him, "Gav's only been able to manage 75%. And that never sticks long. And take off that damn mask. They're gonna be back soon and we don't want them to scream the first time they see you." Ryan laughed, removing the mask to reveal his face paint. "Dammit Ryan. Go wash your fucking face, weirdo." Geoff chuckled, turning back to the TV.

Ryan stood, ready to go shower, and said, "By the way, it was easy. You told me to "get very Vagabond" so I did. And I think it'll stick this time. I'm pretty convincing."

Ryan was in the bathroom getting dressed after his shower when he heard the front door slam followed by Geoff yelling, "Ryan get out here!"

He walked out of the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head, "What's up, Geoff?" He asked, noticing two people he hasn't seen before.

"You could've at least been decent, damn." He chuckled, "These are the other crew members. Gavin Free, our Golden Boy, and Jeremy Dooley, who is our sniper."

Ryan looked them over, noticing Jeremy's height, or lack thereof, and firetruck red hair. As he looked over Gavin, he took in the wild hair and tanned skin, finally landing on his sea-green eyes, which were already locked on Ryan.

Looking into Gavin's eyes, Ryan felt his heart flutter a bit. Gavin really was Golden.


	2. Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Game Night! And Ryan goes on his first team job with Michael!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! Thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much! Please tell me what you think!

Gavin just stared. And stared. And then stared a little bit more. He couldn't get past the fact that this was the face behind the mask. This very normal, very attractive guy was a terrifying mercenary? No way. There was no way that people took their last breath looking into those icy blue eyes. Nope. He didn’t believe it.

“Uh.. Hey, Gav, you maybe wanna say hello?” Jeremy whispered, pulling him back to reality. “Oh, yeah. Hi, hello. I’m Gavin.” He stuttered, in a very attractive British accent, Ryan noticed. Michael walked in, noticing the awkward situation and Geoff

“Oh, yeah. Hi, hello. I’m Gavin.” He stuttered, in a very attractive British accent, Ryan noticed.

Michael walked in, noticing the awkward situation and Geoff trying to hold in a laugh, barely succeeding. “Hey boi, Jeremy, I see you’ve met Ryan. And in a much nicer way than Trevor did.”

Jeremy eyes widened, “What do you mean, Michael?”

“Due to Geoff’s poor planning, Ryan didn’t meet Support right away. Trevor was in the kitchen when Ry woke up yesterday, and they probably would’ve shot each other if they weren’t talking so damn loud.” Michael sighed, glaring at Geoff.

“Ry?” Geoff questioned, looking Ryan over, “I like it.”

“You can call me whatever, I don’t mind.” Ryan offered.

“How about Rye-bread?” Gavin asked, looking a little hopeful.

Ryan thought the name was ridiculous, but he couldn’t say no to that look on Gavin’s face, “Sure, why not.”

“You’re kidding, right Ryan? You’re gonna let him call you a type of bread?” Michael laughed,

“I see no problem with it,” Ryan dismissed, walking towards the kitchen, “Now, who wants dinner?”

“I’d love to stay lads, but I’m going to see my boyfriend. I leave for less than a week and he almost gets shot. Outrageous,” Jeremy said, turning to open the door, “And if he was up here going through the kitchen, that means they forgot to buy food again.”

“Don’t bang too loud, we can hear you guys up here!” Geoff interjected going to sit on the couch.

“No promises!” Jeremy said, slamming the door on his way out.

Ryan stood in the kitchen debating if he should make something or just order pizza.

“Hey, Ryan, whatcha doing?” Jack asked, walking to the fridge.

He looked at her for a second, and sighed “I’m trying to figure out what to do for dinner. Kinda thinking pizza. Any ideas?”

“We could do that, but Gav’s really good at pasta if you’re up for helping him. He is no longer trusted to cook alone.” She suggested taking 3 beers from the fridge.

“Pasta actually sounds great. Can you send him in?” Ryan asked, looking through the cabinets for ingredients.

Jack chuckled, not looking back “No problem. Gav! Get your ass in the kitchen and help Ryan cook!”

Ryan heard a very bird-like noise from the living room followed by Gavin complaining, “What, why? Why not just order something like usual?”

“Because you’re a growing boy, Gavvy,” Michael scolded playfully, “You need to eat your vegetables so you can be big and strong!”

Gavin groaned, standing from his seat, “Oh sod off, Michael.”

Ryan noticed the way he said ‘Michael’ made it sound more like ‘Micool’. It was cute.

The pasta was made with no real problems, but Gavin did drop a lot of stuff. It’s not his fault Ryan makes him nervous.

During dinner, Geoff suggested that Ryan go with Michael on his next job.

“When? And what type of job are we talkin’ here?” Ryan asked, taking a sip of his diet coke.

“We’re taking out a rival crew’s base. With explosives. Gotta head out around 3 tomorrow.” Michael said with a grin, he really likes explosives.

“Sounds like a good time. I’m in.” Ryan said, standing to take his plate to the kitchen.

 

Ryan walked out of his room around 9pm to a very drunk Michael and Gavin playing Mario Party with a thankfully sober Lindsay.

“We ate like two hours ago, how are they already this drunk? And on a Wednesday?” He asked her incredulously.

“It’s Game Night, Ryan, this is what happens.”

Ryan started to speak, but he was cut off by Gavin screaming, “WOT IS GAME NIGHT?!” His state of drunkenness making his accent stronger.

“You wanna play Rye-bread? This game’s almost over.” Michael asked, pausing the game.

Ryan thought it over for a minute, then shrugged, “Sure, what’s the worst that could happen.”

 

Gavin woke up the next day at 5pm with a splitting headache and a very strong urge to vomit.

Once he had thrown up the contents of his stomach, he brushed his teeth and decided to take a quick shower to wake himself up more.

After his shower, he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and a few aspirin. He couldn’t remember what happened last night.

Lindsay had a meeting with Geoff and Jack, and Michael was on his job with Ryan so he had no one to ask.

After dinner, he remembers playing Mario Party with Michael and Lindsay. And he remembers getting absolutely smashed.

Then it’s just fuzzy. He thinks he remembers someone else joining their game, but he doesn’t know who. Oh well. He couldn’t have embarrassed himself that much, right?

 

“Gavin was such a dumbass last night,” Michael chuckled, “What kind of a name is ‘Team Love and Stuff’ anyway?”

They had just reached the edge of Los Santos, the rival crew’s base was only a few miles out now.

“Apparently, he’s the Love, and I’m the Stuff,” Ryan said nonchalantly, looking out the window, “Besides, you’re called Team Nice Dynamite. To the public. Which is ridiculous by the way.”

“It’s not that bad once you get used to it. We’re here,” He said, pulling up about a mile from the base. “Time to blow some shit up.”

Ryan got out of the car and grabbed a bag from the trunk. He put on his mask, sans face paint today, and jacket, pulling a pistol from the bag just in case, and started following Michael.

Matt had said the base was supposed to be almost empty today while the crew scouted around for a new location. They were supposed to plant sticky bombs around the outside and if possible, inside and blow it. The blast would kill some of the crew members and seriously cripple their infrastructure.

Once they reached the building they got right to it, planting the bombs every few feet. When they were almost finished with the outside, Michael instructed that they should try and scope out the inside and see if they could plant the remaining bombs at the center, for maximum effect.

If Matt was right, which he usually was, there should only be two or three members in the building.

With little to no stealth, Ryan and Michael just walked in the front door. Before they even made it two steps, there was a storm of bullets flying at them, making them take cover behind a couch a few feet away.

“Dammit, Matt!” Michael fumed, reaching his arm over the couch to fire blindly, “You are the worst hacker ever!”

Ryan peered around the edge of the couch to get a head count, “How big is this crew?”

Michael thought for a second, still firing blindly, “About 7 members in total.”

“Well,” Ryan said taking a few calculated shots, “They just lost three. And there are only three left. Where’s the other one?”

Michael looked over the top of the couch to get a better shot, “Another one down.” He said, turning to Ryan, “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I’m sure I am,” Ryan answered, “Count of three?” Michael nodded, “One,” They both readied themselves to stand, “Two,” Ryan said, reloading his pistol, “Three.”


	3. Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whos back
> 
> i changed the format to make it easier to read! I also went back and did the same with the first two chapters
> 
> Huge thanks to DreamingFandoms and Aquatic_Skeletons for the feedback!
> 
> i am also hugely sorry for putting this off for so long! i have had the worst writers block i swear.. updates will be... as scheduled as they can be. again i am sorry but im not sure what i wanna do with this anymore. ill try my hardest to finish it though!

Gavin was watching TV with Jack and Geoff when the door opened revealing Caleb, Michael, and a wounded Ryan.

“What the fuck happened?!” Geoff shouted, standing from his spot on the couch. “What happened, is that Matt was fucking wrong,” Michael snapped, helping Ryan sit, “The crew was there, and we walked right into a trap.”

* * *

 

_“Three.” They both stood, taking out the last two crew members._

_“_ _Jesus,” Michael muttered, walking to check the bodies for a pulse, “I’m gonna fucking kill Matt.”_

_Ryan sighed, walking down the hall, looking for the center of the building, “Let’s just finish this and go home.”_

_“_ _Agreed. Did you get shot, Ryan?” Michael questioned, looking at his bleeding shoulder._

_Ryan shrugged, “I’m fine. It’s just a flesh wound.”_

_“Whatever you say,” He said skeptically, following Ryan through the building, “I think this is it.” Learning from their earlier mistake, they stood against either side of the door, readying their pistols._

_“Ready?” Ryan asked, putting his hand on the knob,_

_“Ready.” Michael nodded, watching Ryan open the door._

_The room was empty. Weird. They were expecting the crew leader to be here, considering they still had no idea where he was. It only took about a minute to plant the remaining bombs, and they were about to walk out when they heard a voice, "Move and I'll shoot!"_

_"Fuck," Ryan muttered, glancing from Michael to the leader a few times, trying to come up with a plan._

_"Drop your guns," the leader barked, pointing his gun between them._

_And he had it. Ryan looked hard at Michael, and then at the gun pointed at them, trying to get his plan across._

_"I said drop them!" He shouted, moving a few steps closer._

_Ryan took this opportunity to distract him, hoping Michael would take the shot. Michael took the shot. And Ryan took a bullet. Again._

 

* * *

 

Caleb had started disinfecting Ryan's wounds while they relayed what happened to Geoff. "I'm fine guys," Ryan groaned, "Besides, who hasn't been shot on the job before?"  

"All of us!" Geoff yelled, "Someone go get Matt! And tell him he's in a dick load of trouble!"

"I'll go," Jack said, walking to the door, "And by the way Geoff," she chimed, looking over her shoulder, "you got shot last month."

Gavin had been quiet since they walked in and Michael was a little worried, "Gav," he asked softly, "you with us?"

"What? Yeah," he answered, snapping back to reality, "I'm gonna go out for a bit."

"Okay boi," Michael sighed, watching him leave, "Call if you need a ride later."

"He always does," Geoff said, after hearing no reply from Gavin, "Now, where the fuck is Jack?"

 Ryan looked between the two with a raised eyebrow but decided he'd ask later.

Just then, the front door opened to show Jack, a scared Matt, and an amused Jeremy and Trevor.

Geoff jumped up, looking pissed, "You are in a dick load of trouble! How could you be that wrong, Matt! Because of you, our newest member got shot! Twice! What the fuck Matt!?"

"Geoff! I told you I'm fine! A few bullets is nothing. You can't blame him for my reckless decisions. I got shot because I was careless." Ryan said, standing from the chair and walking to his bedroom.

"Ryan, I wasn't finished!" Caleb shouted, following him down the hall.

"Fine or not... How'd you screw up that badly, Matt?" Michael asked quietly, "You've never made this big of a mistake."

Matt looked up, "I took the bait, okay?!" He yelled, eyes starting to water, "It was pretty damn convincing and I couldn't find any evidence that it wasn't legit. I've told you time and time again that Gavin was a better hacker. I don't know why I couldn't have been a field guy like I asked. I told you that's what I do best."

"It is kinda why you hired us." Jeremy muttered, looking at Geoff sadly, "We were good in the field and that's what you needed, remember?"

Geoff sighed, pulling his hands down his face, "Yeah. I remember. I'll talk to Gav... Everybody's coming up here for dinner and drinks tomorrow night. That's an order. Tell Kdin and Lindsay."

There was a collective "Yes, sir!" that made Geoff sigh even more.

 

* * *

 

 

At about 4:30 in the morning, Michael was woken up by his phone. Someone was calling. Why. He picked it up without looking at the caller ID, "What the fuck do you want at this ungodly hour?" he said quietly, trying not to wake Lindsay.

"Micool, come get me Micool!" Gavin slurred into the phone. He was drunk. Very drunk.

Michael sighed, getting up to grab some pants and his keys, "Where you at, Gav?" 

Gavin giggled, "I'm at the pier!"

"Why are you so goddamned far," He muttered, walking out of his room. 

Michael was headed to the kitchen for a red bull when he noticed Ryan heading back to his room. "What are you doing up at 4:30 in the morning Ryan?" He asked, phone still to his ear.

"I'm an early riser. Why are you though? You haven't been up before 7 since I got here." Ryan questioned.

Michael rolled his eyes, gesturing to his phone, "I'm on Gavin duty. Gotta go pick him up."

Ryan just stared for a minute before offering, "I can go get him. I'm already up and you look like you'd probably murder him before you got back."

"Are you sure you wanna go fetch an idiot this early? You were shot yesterday." He says, ignoring Gavin's drunken babbles.

"I got it Michael. Just tell me where he's at and go back to sleep," Ryan chuckled quietly.

"If you insist, he's at the pier." Michael sighs, turning his attention back to Gavin, "Idiot, shut up. Ryan's gonna come get you. So stay put okay?"

"Okay Micool." Gavin said, hiccuping slightly.

Michael hung up the phone, looking at Ryan, "Alright. He should be near the back of the pier. Just get him back in one piece alright?"

"Got it." Ryan said, grabbing his keys off the counter and heading for the door.

 

* * *

 

 

While Gavin waited to get picked up, he started thinking. He didn't like it when the crew got hurt. He felt guilty. He shouldn't have forced his position on Matt. He knew that. But... After what happened...

Every time one of the crew gets hurt he does this. Drinks himself half to death and overthinks. 

This times different though. Ryan got hurt. A new crew member got shot _twice_  because Gavin couldn't bring himself to get back in front of his computer for anything other than cat videos.

Maybe it was time to talk to Geoff, he thought, just as a hand touched his shoulder.

 

"I'm sorry, Gavin. I should've said something," Ryan says, after Gavin jumped so high he almost fell off the pier and into the ocean.

"It's fine, Ryan. I'm fine." He said, standing to follow Ryan back to his car.

The hour long ride back to the penthouse was quiet. Mostly because Gavin was still drunk and didn't to embarrass himself, and Ryan was just a generally quiet guy.

Surprisingly, Ryan spoke first, "You good, Gav? You ran out pretty quick yesterday."

He just stared for a second before answering, slightly slurring his words, "Uh, yeah. I'm top, Ry. Thanks for asking."

Gavin looked at the clock, it was almost 6. What was Ryan doing up? Why was he so willing to drive an hour to pick up a drunk idiot he barely knew?

 

* * *

 

They pulled into the garage around 6:30. Gavin hopped out of the car and immediately vomited. Geoff was gonna kill him.

Ryan rounded the car and looked at the puddle of stomach acid, grimacing "Come on Gavin, let's get you to bed."

It took a few minutes to get Gavin up to the penthouse and into his room but Ryan did it quietly, trying no to wake the rest of the crew. He plopped Gavin onto his bed and pulled the covers over him. Gavin was out like light in seconds. Before Ryan retreated back to his room he put a glass of water and some aspirin on the nightstand and turned out the lights.

"Goodnight, Gav."

 

 


End file.
